I have this weird obsession with Simulation games. I’m not sure what it is, but I find comfort in mundane everyday tasks, especially when they are tasks that I wouldn’t usually do.
Take Money Laundering, for instance. I’m just not cut out for the life of crime, way too stressful. So, when I saw that Mind Control Games has given us the chance to become that criminal we all think we want to be, my hands were tied.
Let’s Get Cleaning
Cash Cleaner Simulator is a casual, almost cozy experience that has you cleaning cash for the criminal underworld at your own pace. The moment you take your first job from your trusty cell phone, the hilarity begins.
Money rains down from a giant hole in the roof, it could be in boxes, bags, suitcases, or even stuffed in mattresses. You must unpack it, clean it, sort it, repack it, and send it back into circulation.
At the start, the jobs are simple enough. A client requires $5K in a backpack. Down from the hole in the roof falls two small boxes. They land funny and go flying off in different directions. I found one, but where did the other one go? Cash Cleaner Simulator has got a wild physics engine which allows you to throw round boxes and bags as well as wads of cash. It’s very satisfying picking up 100s of notes, throwing them into the sky, and watching them rain down. But now I have to go and pick them all up. So, we won’t be doing that again.
Cash Cleaning Simulator unfortunately doesn’t have controller support, but I had to try. You can walk/look around and pick things up, but you can’t scroll through menus or select anything from your phone. So, we are stuck with mouse and keyboard.
Once I found the other box, I set up a little table to count my money on. After I had counted out the money and purchased a backpack from my phone (which arrived the same way as the boxes, thrown from who knows where), I loaded up the required amount and sent it off for collection. I received payment and another job.
Tools of the Trade.
After half a dozen or so jobs, I found a scanner on my phone that made it easy to scan a box to see its contents. To my surprise, some of the jobs would send me a lot more cash than I needed to send back. What am I supposed to do with it? So, I just put it aside. Quickly, the pile of leftover cash started to get bigger and bigger. As the jobs kept coming in, the requirements started to become stricter. Only $20 notes, please. In a briefcase.
There must be an easier way than sorting this cash by hand. Luckily, I had saved enough money for a small money counter. Which allowed me to start separating and even counting how much cash I was sending out.
My phone rings. “I’m sending you some dirty money that needs to be cleaned.” Then a filthy duffle bag falls from the ceiling. To my horror, it was full of muddy, bloody money mixed in with some shotgun shells and a couple of dice. As you advance, the jobs get more and more elements added. Money might be sopping wet and needs to be dried. Or it could be literally dirty and need to be put through a delicates cycle of the washing machine.
Dye Job
You also have to watch out for dye packs. Some bags are locked and require you to open them carefully. If done incorrectly, the dye pack will explode, ruining everything in the bag. You do have a cleaning station where you can painstakingly clean each note. Cleaning the cash took so long, I ended up throwing it all out and cancelling the job. Sure, you lose some reputation, but it’s easier to regain that than wipe down 500 notes.
You are constantly having to purchase bags and boxes for deliveries. Eventually, different currencies are added and need to be sorted. You will need to purchase trolleys and shelves, and eventually, you can get a sorting machine that will allow you to sort the different currencies.
Performance
I found now and again, Cash Cleaning Simulator would lag when there were lots of items or cash lying around. I also had a particular box that the game wanted me to keep. Whenever I tried to use it for a delivery or destroy it, the game would hard crash, and I would have to restart. I ended up throwing the box onto a couch and just leaving it there so I wouldn’t accidentally use it.
Life of Excess isn’t Always a Good Option
As I was playing, my pile of leftover money started to grow. You find out that you are trapped in this room, sorting money as some sort of punishment, and are required to repay a debt. There is a giant glass piggy bank hanging from the ceiling, and it needs to be filled with 1 million dollars for your freedom.
I started to load my cash into the piggy bank and to my surprise, it was bugger all. Almost 200k. Another 800k to go. I ended up rolling credits on Cash Cleaning Simulator at 18 hours, and in my opinion, it was too long.
After roughly 8ish hours, I had purchased all the tools. Some of them are very useful, and some of them are just dumb fun. I had a great setup running, allowing me to complete jobs easily. Still with another 500 thousand to put into the piggy bank, I had experienced everything Cash Cleaning Simulator had to offer.
Verdict
Cash Cleaning Simulator is a lot of fun, throwing around piles of cash. Stuffing it into mattresses, knocking over boxes, and spilling thousands of dollars across the floor. My only criticism is that it was too long. If it had been half the length, it would have felt less like a chore towards the end.
Gamer Social Club was supplied a copy of Cash Cleaning Simulator for this review.
Cash Cleaning Simulator was reviewed on PC via Steam and will also be available at a later time.
Make sure you follow The Gamer Social Club on all our social channels BlueSky, X, Facebook. We also have weekly shows on our YouTube channel to keep up to date with news, reviews, interviews, and all sorts of fun.
The Gamer Social Club runs a Monthly “Book Club” for gamers. Where we play games from our backlog or the latest Indie gem everyone is talking about. So join The Gamer Social Club Discord to become involved in this month’s Game of the Month.
The post Cash Cleaner Simulator – Review appeared first on Gamer Social Club.